5 Common Issues in Modern Relationships with Solutions
Ever heard the phrase "work on your relationship or it won’t work for you?" Well, if you are someone who believes that love should always be a natural and organic process, then the phrase might just spook you. You may believe that relationships are not something that one has to work on. But that’s not how it works in the real world. The idea of "made for each other" is mundane. Aaron Ben-Zeev, a professor of philosophy from Israel, calls it a myth and “a dangerous romantic ideology.”
Falling in love in modern times is not easy. In this fast-paced world, we want someone to be there for us, but we ourselves are not ready to invest what it takes to be there for someone.
The concept of love is profound. It brings us butterflies in our stomachs, happiness, thrill, adventure, excitement, and what not! And when any of it languishes, we begin to have conflicts and debates with our partner, which eventually prove to be deleterious for the relationship.
Let’s have a look at some common pitfalls in a relationship…
1-Communication:
Once the relationship settles, communication becomes a thing of the past. The couples take a back seat and do not bother to communicate. Instead, they assume and mind-read each other.
In some cases, people tend to turn deaf when their partner has to say something. This makes the person feel unheard and invalidated. Such an act leads to frustration, fights, misunderstandings, and other relationship issues.
The lack of communication is a common yet major issue in long-distance relationships. People tend to remain occupied all day and cannot make time to ping their loved ones. It gives rise to suspicion and doubts in the person’s mind. They become frantic and fly off the handle every time they feel something fishy, and gradually, the bond of love dissipates in the couple.
Solution:
Listen to your partner carefully and without judgment. Do not interrupt while your partner is speaking. Also, do not be in a hurry to impose your opinions on your partner’s concerns. Let them be vocal and voice their feelings.
When in a long-distance relationship, try to keep track of the well-being of your partner. Be all ears while communicating over the phone. Understand each word being said. Create a mental picture of what they say, and then react or respond as the situation demands. In a nutshell, put yourself in their shoes, and it will make all the difference.
2- Lack of Space-
Doing everything together could be a sign of a healthy relationship, but doing it all day, every day, could also put a relationship at stake. Initially, the couple feels euphoric and supercharged being around each other, but when the honeymoon phase fades with time and the humdrum creeps in, everything begins to turn upside down, and the overly affectionate love and care backfire. Over time, either of the partners feels that their space is being invaded by the other, and due to this, they start looking for opportunities to spend time alone.
At times, they even invent excuses to run away from their helicopter partners. Eventually and unfortunately, the other person feels that his or her partner does not share the same bond anymore and starts drifting apart. This leads to trivial but grave issues in a relationship.
Solution:
Apparently, being engrossed in each other does not guarantee the elevation of love, nor does it make you inseparable. Remember that people need to maintain their individuality in order to grow and develop. Let them breathe and respect their space. Allocate some time to your other relationships, like family and friends, as well. Above all, allow yourself some “me time” to discover your needs and wants in life. This will surely work in your favor.
4-Taking Each Other For Granted:
Usually, after spending some time together, the couples feel that the spark of their relationship does not spark anymore. They believe that their love has come to an end. They find it too difficult to meet and greet. They also make little or no effort to keep the bond alive. They do not appreciate each other. They often ignore each other’s needs. They indulge in blame games every now and then and make each other feel unwanted. They do not involve their partner in their important decisions or ignore them in front of their friends and colleagues. All these “red flags” ultimately wreak havoc on the relationship.
Solution:
To revive your bond, reflect on your relationship and work accordingly. Acknowledge, appreciate, and praise your partner’s efforts. Apologize when something goes wrong on your part and say “thank you” whenever your partner goes the extra mile for you. These are small but meaningful gestures that create an opportunity for a relationship to mend, heal, and even grow.
3-Overwhelming Career Goals:
Laden with work, carriers, and other such things, you put your partner on edge. Prioritizing your career and paying the least attention to him or her is a sure-shot way to jeopardize your relationship. Having too much on your plate could overwhelm you and cause stress and worry. And the bizarre output of your mental agony impacts your relationship.
Solution:
Biting off more than you can chew will not only put your relationship in shambles but also have a serious impact on your health. Hence, sort your tasks out and try to avoid acting up every time your head becomes ignited. Cool yourself down, and then proceed. Make sure to balance out your personal and professional lives, and the rest will follow.
5- Conflict:
In the age of social media, a relationship becomes highly susceptible to others’ opinions and judgments. The butterflies the couple feels in their tummies turn into leeches and suck their happy hearts dry.
They become impatient and restless when they have discordant thoughts. They get on each other’s nerves almost all the time. Bickering about insignificant issues becomes routine for them. Every conversation becomes a battle, and there is no end to disputes over trifling matters.
Solution:
Take a moment to evaluate the slipshod nature of your relationship. Pluck up some courage and tell your partner how you feel, and don’t stress about the repercussions.
Conflicts, chaos, and a little turbulence are part and parcel of any relationship. It is, in fact, necessary for a relationship to keep going. But it does not mean that you have to quarrel day in and day out. Conflicts are healthy when you find common ground and resolve the issue. Draw the line where you need to, but always keep a calm and respectful attitude towards your partner.
At the end of the day, it does not matter how ruthless you are towards each other, but how smitten you are with each other. To keep the relationship up, it becomes imperative to sieve the shortcomings out of a relationship and never fall out of love!
